Awake my Soul
by rjwritergirl
Summary: Anna Smith is 16 years old and has just been signed up for an arranged marriage. John Bates is an soldier who needs a wife to tend his home while he's off to war. Anna has always wanted to marry for love and it's love at first sight when she's met John. But it's been reduced to a business transaction. But when he comes home wounded is this Anna's chance to make him love her?
1. Chapter 1

_Awake my Soul_

_Anna Smith is 16 years old and has just been signed up for an arranged marriage. John Bates is an soldier who needs a wife to tend to his home while he's off to fight the Boer war. Anna has always wanted to marry for love, but it's been reduced to a business transaction. For her, it's love at first sight when she sees John. But when John comes home from the war wounded, will she get a chance to make John fall in love with her?_

This story is a collaboration between a-lady-to-me and I, I'll try to post a chapter a week. :)

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16 year old Anna Smith did her best to smile as she and her parents walked up to the registrar's office. It was her wedding day, she should be happy. But she'd always wanted to marry for love, but last month when her father had come home and said he'd made plans for an arranged marriage her hopes and dreams had been reduced to a business transaction. Her soon to be husband seemed like a nice man, he was certainly more handsome then the farm boys Anna had seen before.

She could feel her mother squeezing her hand, silently conveying her support to her daughter.

Hours later, it was done. She was married and going home to hers and her new husband's home. With one look at the house, Anna could see why he wanted someone to keep house. It wasn't filthy but it could use a good cleaning. She made a mental note to start cleaning as soon as she was able.

"I've got some work to do at the base, I'll be going out next week, you can do what you want with the house. I've also got my pay being sent directly to the post office where you'll have to pick it up, but you'll have the funds directly. You'll have to take care of all the bills."

"I understand." Anna said quietly, she looked around the house, "Do you have any rags for cleaning?"

"They're in laundry. You'll have your hands full cleaning the house at first, I'm not much of a housekeeper."

"That's all right." Anna said, "I'll just go through and see what needs to be done, when you're speaking with your superiors."

Her husband nodded. "All right. Use what you can first before buying anything. I also made room for your clothes in the wardrobe."

Anna nodded and her husband went outside to bring Anna's things in. After her husband had left, Anna started cleaning the kitchen. She started on dinner then, not knowing when he would be home, but it would not do for her to starve in case her husband did not come back for dinner.

She cleaned the kitchen and then the sitting area. The house was small and Anna made good progress cleaning. It could use a good scrub but it looked much better by the time her husband got back. He looked around the house, clearly surprised at the progress Anna had made. "You're a good housekeeper. Your father was right."

"Thank you, I'm used to keeping the farm house clean. Are you hungry?" Anna said, after he nodded, she spooned some soup into a bowl and set it in front of him.

"I'll give the house a good scrubbing, but I do need to buy some food tomorrow." Anna said, "Is there a market anywhere near?"

"I go to the one by base, but there's a woman who lives next door, she may know of one closer." John said, he continued eating as Anna spooned herself a bowl and sat across from John. They ate in silence and by the time they were finished, John light the lamp. After leaving his and moved into the sitting area. Anna quickly scraped the dishes and then rinsed them before setting them to drain. She could always do a better wash of the dinner dishes after breakfast when it was light in the house again.

She found John beginning to read and he looked up as Anna came in.

"I have to be up for work early, so I'll be going to bed soon."

"All right." Anna said quietly. "I'll go to bed with you."

John's eyes traveled her body. "Good." He couldn't help but continue to look at her, Anna fidgeted under his gaze. "You really are beautiful." His voice was soft. "I'll be in bed soon, why don't you go get ready?"

Anna nodded, "all right."

She went into the bedroom and put on her nightgown. Her mother had given her the nightgown, saying she'd sewn this nightgown for Anna years before, especially for her wedding night. John came into the bedroom as she finished brushing her hair.

She turned as her husband entered the room. He looked to her and he slowed as he made his way to the wardrobe. "Is there anything in particular you need for the house?"

"I was thinking I could replace the curtains." Anna said, he opened the wardrobe and dug around in it for a moment. He pulled out a nightshirt and began to undress. Anna blushed as she realized that this would happen every night, except when he was off to war. She could see a broad chest with a generous amount of hair on it. Then long legs, also with hair.

She took in a breath and spoke, "I hope you don't mind that I changed the sheets, but the one's you had needed to be washed."

"That's fine." John said, Anna blushed as he stood there without any clothes on. He dressed slowly, first undershorts then undershirt, Anna turned to the bed and slipped into bed. What was going to happen now?

John turned to see Anna on the bed, she blushed and looked away as she could still see the outline of _him_ through his undershorts.

"I know women have sensibilities at first, but we are married, we should get used to this." She could see his hands shake as he pulled a nightshirt over his head.

"I've never seen a man..." she trailed off, still blushing.

"I won't hurt you." John's voice was quiet.

Anna tried to smile as he stepped towards the bed. "God, Anna, you really are beautiful." his voice was quiet.

She took a breath in as she felt him climb into bed next to her. She could do this. She had to.

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The next morning, Anna woke first, she could feel the scratchy sheets against her skin but her mind wasn't on the sheets. Her thoughts were on the man next to her in bed. She turned so she could see John better, she could tell by his breathing that he was still asleep. She couldn't help but smile slightly as she remembered the night before. In the early morning light, he seemed much younger then he was. He had mentioned that he had turned thirty the year before, which Anna had thought a bit old but now that she could see him properly he seemed much younger.

Despite his promise not to hurt her, there had been some blood and pain. But it hadn't been as bad as her mother had described. But now she was a properly married woman. Looking at the clock on her husband's bedside table she realized it was time for her to get up to make John's breakfast.

Hurrying into her dress, she went to the kitchen. She could only find some bacon and toast for breakfast but set to make it, they didn't have any tea which Anna would have preferred but she wouldn't complain. It wouldn't do to start married life by complaining about everything, she would simply get some when she was out.

She jumped, startled when John moved behind her, touching the small of her back, as he moved between her and the table.

"Morning." He had barely taken the time to put some pants on and Anna smiled again at the memories of the night before, except for the bit of pain and blood, it really had been much nicer then her mother had described. "I'm sorry I hurt you last night." his voice was low.

"My mother said it always hurts the first time," Anna responded, "It felt better than I thought it would...so it's all right." She turned to get the bacon off of the stove and caught her husband turning pink. She smiled at the fact.

John didn't seem to mind the meager breakfast and told her where he'd left some extra money so that she could get some food and other necessities for the house. He pressed a quick kiss to her lips before leaving the house after getting ready for work. "I'm usually home by six."

"I'll have dinner ready for you." Anna promised. And like that, she was left alone for the day.

After cleaning up as best she could, she got ready and went next door, the lady who lived next door was just stepping out and Anna caught her attention. "Excuse me, I was wondering if there's a market close to here." Anna said, "I just got married and moved to London."

"I'm going to the market right now, you can follow me." The woman said. "What's your name?"

"Anna, Bates, I just married John Bates." Anna smiled. "and you are?"

"Phyllis Baxter." the woman introduced herself. "Is your husband going to be going off to the Boer war?"

"Yes," Anna said as they walked, "He leaves next week."

As they walked Anna stole a look back at the house. Maybe being a wife wouldn't be so hard after all.

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	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you to those who have reviewed! I love getting reviews. This is chapter 2, hope you enjoy!_

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Anna Bates hummed as she scrubbed the floor of the sitting area, she had moved the furniture so she could get as much of the floor cleaned as possible. She was nearly done, only a few more spots before she moved onto the bedroom. She smiled as she remembered the night before and John's actions this morning. She had thought that this was simply a business transaction for him but the way he'd treated her the night before and reacted the way he had this morning, maybe he loved her, or could at least learn to love her.

Anna turned as the door to her house opened, she wasn't expecting John home for another few hours or so, had he gotten off work early?

But it was a woman who can through the door.

"Excuse me." The sudden sound of Anna's voice made the woman turn, she had blue eyes and brown hair, she was also about half a foot taller then Anna was. Anna was too surprised to say anything else and the woman spoke.

"Oh, John got himself a little housekeeper, but Mr. Bates must have told you about me." The woman said, "I'm Vera." She looked Anna up and down, her look critical.

"No, he hasn't told me about you. How do you know my husband?"

To say the woman was surprised would have been an understatement. "Your husband?" the words were spit out like they were disgusting swear words.

"Yes, we married yesterday."

"Yesterday?"

"Yes." Anna said quietly, looking up at the woman. "How do you know John?"

"We were engaged." Vera said, raising an eyebrow at Anna and casting a critical glance at the house. Anna tried not to feel like she was being judged. She had made good progress in the time she had been there. But engaged? How long had Vera and John been engaged?

"Well, John and I are married now, would you like to wait for John to come home?" Anna asked. "I've got some tea on..."

"No thank you, just tell him that Vera came by." The woman turned and left closing the door behind her sharply.

Anna turned back to cleaning, confused. She scrubbed the floor for another few moments before deciding the sitting area was clean enough. She dropped the rag into the laundry pile and made a mental note to do the laundry the next day.

Suddenly weary, she sagged into a chair at the table. How long had John and Vera been engaged? Why had they called off the engagement? Anna's thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door, hoping it wasn't Vera again, Anna opened the door only to find Phyllis, her next door neighbor there.

"I saw Vera leaving." She said by way of explanation. She had a what looked like a pastry in her hands. "Thought you could use some cheering up."

"Who is she?" Anna asked, letting her new friend in.

"Vera, she and John used to be engaged." Phyllis said.

"What happened?"

Phyllis looked at Anna for a long moment before speaking carefully. "He and Vera were engaged for a long time but never got married."

"What happened then?"

"You came." Phyllis looked as surprised as Anna felt.

"I'll talk with John about her." Anna decided.

"I thought he would have already told you about her." Phyllis said, it was clear that she was trying not to sound too judgmental. Anna changed the subject then and the two new friends talked for another little while before Phyllis said she had to get back to cook dinner.

Anna finished putting a pot of soup on, and puttered around the house, making sure everything was clean for when her husband came home. John came in on time, Anna turned from where she was at the sink to watch her husband come in. He hung his coat up and turned to Anna. He looked happy to be home, and he smiled at Anna. "How was your day?"

"It was nice, except for when Vera came by." Anna got right to the point.

John actually looked scared for a moment, looking into the sitting area to see if Vera was there.

"She's not here but I was very interested to hear that the two of you had been engaged." Anna said, she lay the spoon to the side and took a few steps towards John. "If you were engaged to her, why didn't you marry her?" She took in a breath and asked the question that had been nagging at her since Vera had left. "Why me?"

John took in a breath "Because I knew that Vera would waste my money and that if I was not married to anyone she would find a way to get the money."

"So you needed a legal reason not to marry Vera." Anna tried not to feel too hurt. He hadn't even asked to meet her until a week before the wedding, nearly a month after getting permission from her father. Clearly he wasn't marrying for love. But after the night before and this morning, she had hoped that he could learn to love her.

John sighed and sat down at the table, Anna sat down across from him, trying not to judge him. "I got orders to go to war last month, I join a regiment in Africa next week. Because I'm fighting, I get a little extra money in my paycheck." Anna nodded quietly, She stood though, unable to keep from sitting still. John hesitated as she walked to the stove.

"I'm listening, but I'll be preparing tea and dinner, would you like some tea?"

"Yes, what kind?"

"Mint." Anna said.

John looked surprised for a moment, "That's my favorite." he said, smiling quietly at her.

"It's one of my favorites." Anna said, she busied herself at the stove, "now, you get money in your paycheck because you're fighting..." she gently guided him back to the subject at hand.

"If Vera and I were to get married, she would waste the money I got, she would buy things and leave the house to rot, basically."

Anna nodded and quietly 'uh-huhed'.

"And when you get married, you get another raise, simply because you are providing for another person as well."

"Why not just cancel the engagement?" Anna asked.

"Because she would find a way to get the money even if we weren't married. It happened the last time I was out fighting. If I'm married to someone that's not her, then she wouldn't be able to get the money at all."

John and Anna were silent for a few moments, Anna bustled around the kitchen. Once her eyes were clear of tears Anna spoke again.

"Why don't we live on base?"

"Because I want out of the army." John said quietly. "I'm proud to serve my country and I'll go and fight as long as I'm in, but I do want out sometime."

"That's understandable," Anna said, "Is there anything you want to do after you get out of the army?"

"Not sure." John shrugged, he seemed grateful at the change in subject. "I'm unable to get get out for another four years at the earliest." John said, "so we've got a while to make a decision about that."

Anna finished with the tea and set a cup in front of John.

"You leave in a week?"

"Yes, Tuesday." John said, "I'll ask the boy next door to look in on you and see if there's anything that needs doing around the house when I'm gone. Mrs. Baxter next door is an army wife as well." John said.

Anna smiled at that. "Phyllis and I have gotten to know each other quite well, I think we'll get along just fine."

"Good, you should have friends here." John said, he smiled as Anna sat across from him, "Your father said you enjoy reading."

"Yes, although I have been unable to go to school for the past few years because of how much work there is at the farm but I enjoy reading when I have the chance." Anna said.

"There's a library near here, I'll show you where it is so that you can check out the books you wish to read."

"That would be lovely." Anna said, "it will help with the long hours."

"My mother may wish for you to visit as well." John said.

Anna was surprised, this was the first she'd heard about John having a mother. "Your mother is still alive?"

"Yes, she lives about a mile from here." John said, "I usually go and have Sunday dinner with her, but she'll understand if I choose to spend it with you..."

"I would love to meet your mother." Anna said.

"I'll stop by on my way to work tomorrow and tell her to expect us."

Anna smiled, "sounds wonderful."

John smiled again, making her heart skip a beat. "Now, what do you have planned for the house?"

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	3. Chapter 3

_**Here's chapter 3! Enjoy!**_

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Tuesday morning, they were both up early. Anna was making breakfast, but she could feel her husbands eyes on her as she moved around the kitchen. She heard him moving but was still a little surprised when he stepped behind her. He wrapped his arms around her, she could feel his desire pressing into her back. "Let's go back into the bedroom, Anna."

Smiling, she turned in his arms and went up on her tiptoes. After a kiss, John picked her up and carried her to the bedroom.

An hour later, Anna found herself curled by his side feeling quite satisfied. She was facing him, but he was on his back looking up at the ceiling. If his previous cries of pleasure were anything to go by; he felt as satisfied as she did. He looked devilishly handsome and she had the sudden desire to run her hands through his chest hair, but there was a barrier that hadn't been there just minutes before. Almost as if when their cries of pleasure had faded, it had taken their connection with it.

John was looking at the clock, "I should get going." He pressed a kiss to her shoulder which was damp with sweat, but Anna couldn't seem to catch his eye.

"Will you write me?" Anna asked, the question coming out without her meaning for it to.

"Of course." John said, his hands were still touching her body, as if memorizing it. He pressed a slow kiss to her lips then he pulled back and got out of bed. Anna smiled as she realized that she wasn't blushing at the sight of her husband standing before her, fully naked.

He was nearly fully dressed when Anna spoke again. "Will you miss me?"

John looked down at her for a long moment, his eyes soft. Then, bending he pressed a long, slow kiss to her lips. "Try not to miss me." And with that, he turned and left the bedroom. Her heart stopped as she realized what John had said. Did he not care for her? But he'd just been so gentle with her. She pulled the blanket up, buried her face in her pillow and began to cry.

An hour after John left, Anna pulled herself out of bed and went into the kitchen to finish breakfast. She'd made some bread the night before so she wasn't surprised to find that some of it was missing, John had probably cut off a hunk for his breakfast.

What she wasn't expecting however, was the dress that was draped over her chair. "To greet me in when I come home." Anna read the note aloud. She picked the dress up and looked at it. It was green with a simple sleeves and a modest neckline and length. She faintly remembered seeing fabric of the same color in the Baxter's sitting area over the weekend.

After getting herself something to eat, she quickly cleaned the house. Since she'd just spent a few days deep cleaning it, it didn't need anything more then a quick touch up and soon she was facing the next few months alone with almost nothing to do.

Sighing she sat down to knit, it was too early to tell if there was a baby yet, but she could knit socks for her husband. She had only cast on when she heard a knock at the door. Phyllis was there, "How are you doing?" She asked when Anna opened the door.

Anna let her friend in "We met two weeks ago, how can it be this hard to have him gone?"

"You love him, don't you?" Phyllis asked, she had brought her knitting with her and they sat together and talked.

"I don't know how I can, I've only known him two weeks." Anna said, "but I suppose I do. But I'm just a business transaction to him. So he would have a legal reason not to marry Vera and to have someone to keep his money safe for him." Anna could feel her eyes filling with tears. "He..."

"It may have started out like that, Anna, but he was so excited when he brought me the fabric and asked me to make you the dress. He knew exactly how he wanted to have the dress, he's excited to see you in it."

"Truly?" Anna asked.

"He even had it drawn up on a paper, how he wanted the sleeves to be, the length, even the neckline." Phyllis told her.

Anna paused in her knitting, he'd designed the dress himself? Did that mean he wanted to see parts of her body? Did he care only for her body? He'd proclaimed her beautiful on several occasions in the past week, but had been looking at her body while he'd said it. She turned back to her knitting. _I'm probably over thinking it._ She tried to convince herself. _And besides, Papa could have found someone much worse then John, at least he doesn't hit me or get lost in a bottle._

"Forgive me if I'm prying Anna, but how is married life suiting you?"

"Mine seems different then my parents married life." Anna blushed.

"And the more...intimate parts of marriage?" She could hear the teasing lilt in Phyllis' tone and Anna blushed a deeper pink.

"_Much_ nicer then my mother described." The two women laughed together quietly. They knit quietly together for several minutes, Anna's mind wandered to John. How long would it take for John to come home, and how would she fill the hours until then?

"The hours are harder to fill at the beginning then they are after about the first month." Phyllis said. When Anna looked over to the woman, she smiled, knowingly. "I've done this before." She said, "My husband's been out for six months, I don't know how much longer he'll be out fighting."

"Any suggestions?"

They continued to talk, and Anna was surprised when she glanced out the window and saw that it was close to mid day. "My heaven's we've talked for some time haven't we?" Anna asked.

Phyllis smiled, "time flies when you're spending it in good company." She then leaned closer to Anna. "I'm always here for you. The life of an army wife can get lonely, but you always have a friend in me."

The next Sunday, Anna set out to go to her mother in law's home. Margaret Bates had pulled Anna aside the week before and told her she was always welcome to come visit. Anna hadn't wanted to bother her new mother in law but had promised to at least come by for Sunday dinners.

The two women had, much to both Anna and John's delight; gotten along quite well the week before and Anna was looking forward to getting to know her mother in law better while John was off to war.

"How are you doing darling?" Her mother in law asked almost as soon as Anna stepped through the door.

"Better then I thought I would." Anna said, "the first few days were quite hard but my next door neighbor has been through this and is helping me."

"That's very kind of her, if she has no where to go to dinner next Sunday you must bring her."

"I'll be sure to tell her she's welcome." Anna promised. "What can I do to help with supper?"

"Just come and sit in the kitchen, I'm nearly done with it."

Anna sat at the table as Mrs. Bates spoke. "Now that we don't have to worry about John interrupting us, how has he been treating you?"

"He was wonderful." Anna said, "I'm glad of that, I know I could have married much worse."

"I taught him to treat his love with respect and honor." Mrs. Bates said, "if you had answered any differently, I'd go to the front and give him a good talking to."

"I don't know about love, Mrs. Bates." Anna tried to keep her disagreement polite. Perhaps Mrs. Bates didn't know about the reasons why she and John had gotten married.

"He loves you, Anna. He just doesn't realize it yet." Mrs. Bates spoke as if promising Anna that.

"Mrs. Bates..."

"Call me Mama." Mrs. Bates interrupted.

"Mama..." Anna tried to swallow the tears. "He married me because he needed someone to keep house and his money while he was at war, not because he loved me."

Mrs. Bates turned from the stove and approached the table where Anna was sitting. She pulled up a chair and sat next to Anna. "It may have started out like that Anna, but he cares for you."

"My body.." Anna shook her head.

"The way he acted around you, and the way he talked about you when he came to say good bye to me the day he left...Anna, he cares deeply for you."

"Well then why didn't he tell me before he left?" Anna asked.

She took one of Anna's hands. "Because my son does not use the brain that God was kind enough to give him, that's why."

Anna shook her head, not believing her mother in law. If he cared for her, wouldn't he have said something? He liked her body and he needed someone who wouldn't abuse his money while he was off to war, that was all. But Anna knew nobody knew you better then your own mother, perhaps Mama was right.

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	4. Chapter 4

_**Here's chapter 4! Enjoy!**_

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Anna knew she was expected at her mother in laws house soon, but she couldn't seem to get up from the floor. She was too tired and sick. She heard a knock and a voice "Anna?"

It was Phyllis and Anna called out "Come in!" The front door opened and she could hear Phyllis in the kitchen.

"Anna?" The voice sounded hesitant, like she wasn't sure that she should have invited herself into the house.

"In the bedroom." Anna called, she struggled to get up. She was exhausted and hungry. She knew there was a good possibility eating would make her sick again but she also knew that she needed to eat.

"What's wrong?" Anna could feel Phyllis' hand on her back.

"I've been sick." Anna said, sitting up. "I must have gotten a bug of some kind."

"When was the last time you threw up?" Phyllis asked.

"About an hour ago, I'm just so tired." Anna said.

"Let's get up, I'll get you to Mama's and she can help you." Phyllis said. It seemed to take forever but Anna got dressed properly and both women made their way to Mama's house. Phyllis knew the way now as it had been about a month since John had left and both women had gone to Mama's for Sunday dinner several times.

They were later than usual but Mama took one look at Anna and ordered her to lay down and drink some tea and eat some plain toast. Anna felt a little better after being at Mama's for a few hours, but wasn't feeling up to making her way home after Phyllis and Mama finished dinner. Mama insisted that Anna stay the night. Anna was too exhausted to complain and fell asleep almost as soon as Mama had a bed made up for Anna.

The next morning, Anna felt much better and made her way to the kitchen. Mama was busy making breakfast and smiled at Anna when she sat at the table. "How are you feeling, darling?"

"Better, I remember that a little girl at the library was sick, that's where I must have gotten it." Anna said, Mama gave Anna a knowing smile.

"How long have you felt like that?" Mama asked.

"Just a few days." Anna said. "I do feel better though, so it must be going."

"Forgive me for asking, but when was your last cycle?"

Anna blushed at the last question. "Before John and I got married."

"Have you been having mood swings?"

"Yes, but Phyllis says she had the same mood swings when her husband went to war." Anna said.

"When did you last go to the doctor?" Mama asked.

"Before the wedding, do you think I should go?" Anna was worried. She felt much better, did she really need to go to the doctor?

"I would go, just to make sure." Mama said, "Would you like me to go with you?"

"That would be nice." Anna said.

"We can go see my doctor." Mama promised, "we'll see if we can make an appointment for today."

_Dear John,_

_The first month without you has been difficult, but I now have something that will help pass the time. I went to the doctor and found out that there will be a child for us. The child will come this winter. I've already decided that if it's a boy he will be named John after you. I don't know if you'll be home before the child is born but I hope he or she looks like you. I know we only briefly talked of children but I hope you are as pleased with the news as I am._

She paused in her letter, looking around her kitchen. She had come home after her doctor appointment and had started a letter to her husband. John still hadn't written her, but she had written him several times a week since he'd left. She was interrupted by a knock on the door, Phyllis was there, "How are you feeling, Anna?" she asked.

Anna couldn't stop the smile. "There will be a child." Anna said, "That's why I've been sick."

"That's wonderful!" Phyllis said. "I'm so happy for you and your husband."

"I know it's a bit early to start on blankets or clothes but..." Anna started.

"I'll start on a blanket tonight." Phyllis promised.

"I'll be starting on one as well." Anna said, "I never thought I could be so excited for a child. When my mother had her last child, I wasn't this excited."

"You're excited because it's yours." Phyllis said. The subject turned to other things but Anna could hardly keep her mind off of the child. She was going to be a mother!

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John Bates glanced up as he saw someone coming towards him.

"John Bates?" He could hear someone calling his name.

"That's me." John said he stood as the man turned towards him.

"Someone misses you at home." The man commented, he handed John a small bundle of letters. John flipped through them, he could see one from his mother, a couple from Vera and several labeled _John_ in a handwriting he didn't recognize, he assumed it was Anna's handwriting and he asked the mail carrier, "will you be taking mail back to England?"

"I'll only be going north, but I can send them along when I get to the sea, ask a soldier who's going home to send them."

"That will be fine, just a moment." John wrapped the letters he'd written to Anna in a piece of paper and quickly wrote on the inside, "_Haven't been able to send these letters, thinking of you. John_." After handing the stack to the mail carrier, he opened one letter from Anna.

_My John;_

_I've just gotten back from your mother's Sunday Dinner, she's been wonderful in the week you've been gone. She's gone and invited our next door neighbor along. I hope that Phyllis will take the invitation, I know she can get lonely as I do at times. Her husband had been gone 6 months and I can only imagine how difficult it had been for her before I moved next door. It's been wonderful to have a friend here._

The letter went on to outline how she was filling her days. The curtains had been replaced, she said, and the sheets that had been on the bed when she'd gotten there were on the mending pile. It sounded like she was doing a wonderful job keeping house and John thanked his lucky stars that he'd found Anna. He knew that Vera would have spent his money on drinks and nonsense items. It sounded like Anna was making the house nicer, new curtains, tablecloth and the like. There was a promise to send socks when she'd finished knitting them and then she closed the letter.

_I hope this letter finds you well. Even though we were only together a short time, and you told me to try not to, I do miss you. But I will be strong, and bear anything. Forever yours, Anna _

_Anna_

John smiled and opened the next one. Soon he had read all the letters Anna had sent him, the comfort it brought him surprised him. They'd known each other less then a month before he'd gone off to war, how could he have gotten so attached to her? She was sweet, that much was for certain. And from the sound of the letters it seemed like she wasn't going to run around playing with his money. He couldn't help but remember the nights they had shared before he'd gone to war. Her soft body, the way she had moved under him. He could feel his body reacting and he cleared his throat and tried to think of something else. It wouldn't do to think to much about their week together, it wouldn't do any good.

He slipped Anna's letters into his breast pocket and then opened the letter from his mother.

It was short, saying that Anna had come by for Sunday dinner and she seemed to be doing well. "_You've found a wonderful young woman, John do right by her, and she'll do right by you_."

When he finished his mother's letter, he turned to Vera's letters. With barely a second thought, he tossed them in the fire.

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	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you so much for all the reviews! I love getting them.**

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John heard his name before he saw the mail carrier approaching. After handing off his most recent packet of letters, he opened the letters from Anna. There was a package that he assumed contained the promised socks. He just hoped they fit. This bundle had only a few letters in it, less then the one before and John wondered if something was wrong. He got his answer in the third letter down.

"I'm going to be a father!" he announced it to the three men around him. "My wife will give birth this winter."

After congratulations, John started on his next letter to Anna.

_My sweet;_

_I just got your letter about the child. That's wonderful, I'm so happy for the both of us..._

* * *

Anna brushed a tear from her eye as she read John's most recent letter;

_I disagree with you. I hope the child looks like you, your soft hair and your beautiful eyes. If it's a girl I hope she grows up to be like you, comforting and wonderful. I can see her running around in the summer, long blonde hair and a smile that wraps me around her little finger. I don't know when I'll be home, but I will dote on you and the child when I do. My parents taught me to cherish my wife and children and I promise that I will. I look forward to the day that I get to see you again and to meet the child. Boy or girl. Do you have any sickness at all? I don't want you to work yourself too hard, I'm sure Mrs. Baxter, or the boy next door would be happy to help you with anything._

The letter went on but Anna had to pause, John sounded so happy about the child. She wiped her eyes and continued reading. It spoke of John's hopes and dreams for the child. It surprised her that she and John had such similar hopes and dreams for their child, she hadn't expected that they would be so similar.

Anna could feel tears welling up in her eyes again as she read the end of the letter,

_May my love find you and the baby well,_

_John_

Anna wiped her eyes again. He sounded so happy about the child, and the way he'd talked about them and that he hoped the baby looked like her. She hoped that it meant that he was learning to love her. "May my love find you." She whispered the line as she reread it.

She glanced up when Phyllis knocked on the door. "I just got some letters from John." Anna said, she opened the door and let her friend in. "He got my letter about the baby, he's so excited."

"I told you he would be." Phyllis said. She put a knitted item on the table, it looked like a blanket but Anna was still reading a letter from John.

The next letter outlined what he liked to read, Anna made a mental note of the authors he spoke of. Perhaps if she could find some of their books she could buy one or two before he got home.

After finishing that letter, she folded it and set it aside. She turned to Phyllis who was smiling at her.

"How are you feeling?" Phyllis asked her.

"Better. Doctor Johnson said that women usually start to feel better at this point in the process." Anna said. Reaching over the table, she picked up the knitted item, unfolding it, she gasped as she noticed the pattern. "Oh, this is beautiful." she said, fingering the blanket.

"I'm working on a few other things as well." Phyllis smiled brightly at Anna.

"You don't have to do that. I'm sure you have other things you could be working on for your husband." Anna said. "It will be winter soon and with how long it takes to get mail down to Africa I should be getting John's winter items sent down to him."

Phyllis' smiled faded and Anna felt her heart clench as she saw it. Had something happened? "I haven't heard from Timothy in a month. I know mail is slow, but he's always written to me so faithfully. I fear..." She stopped to collect her breath and Anna placed a hand over her friends. "Well, knitting for your little one helps keep me occupied." She smiled weakly.

There was silence between the two women for a moment. "If I'm not prying, how did your father and John meet?" Phyllis changed the subject.

Anna shook her head slightly at the memory, "John had to go out to the country for some training. He and some of his unit accidentally wandered onto my father's land. They met about a month before John said anything about needing a wife, and then my father offered me up." She shrugged, "I was hoping to be able to go into service instead of marrying, but my father made the choice and here I am."

"That must have been difficult, to have that decision taken away from you."

"It was, but it was a good decision and I could have married much worse." Anna smiled.

"Did you and Mr. Bates get to spend some time together at least? Before the wedding?"

"Not much time, we met on a few occasions. We went for walks, nothing outlandish."

"At least there was that."

Yes," Anna said, "I've heard stories about some women who never met their future husband's until the day of the wedding, at least John and I met and spoke on several occasions."

Anna got up and began rummaging around the small kitchen as Phyllis spoke. "When my sister was with child, I helped her make several new dresses as her time grew closer, I'll be happy to help if you'd like."

"That would be wonderful, but I'm not.." Anna broke off, blushing. "My body hasn't changed that much, I'm still the same size I was before. I'm wondering if my body is ever going to change."

Phyllis smiled at her, as Anna took out a piece of bread and spread some butter and jam on it. "Don't worry. My sister was about your size and she woke up one morning with a different body. In a good way."

Anna smiled, "I can't wait."

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_Please review!_


	6. Chapter 6

**_Thank you to those who have reviewed so far, I love getting reviews._**

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**_September 1902:_**

Anna and Phyllis giggled together as they knitted, they were both knitting socks for the baby but paused as they heard a knock on the door. "Who could that be?" Phyllis asked, she got up and answered her door. Someone in an army uniform was standing there. Anna's heart dropped for a moment until Phyllis burst into tears and clutched at the man. "Timothy!" she cried with joy.

Anna felt tears rush to her eyes, she wished John would do that, but why would he? He had only married her to keep his money safe. She shifted uncomfortably as Phyllis pulled Timothy close to kiss him. She stood, but didn't realize that one of her needles had gotten lost in the folds of her dress. It clattered on the floor, making Phyllis and Timothy pull apart. "I'll give you some time alone." Anna said, gathering her project and putting it in her bag.

"Oh Anna, we can..." Phyllis broke off, blushing.

"How long are you in town for?" Anna asked Timothy.

"I have to leave tomorrow morning." Timothy said. "I have to catch the 7:30 morning train."

"If you'd like I can come back over tomorrow." Anna spoke to Phyllis, both women blushed slightly.

"That will be wonderful Anna." Phyllis spoke.

"You're Anna Bates?" Timothy asked, his smile grew as Anna made her way to the door.

"Yes, I live next door." Anna smiled.

"Phyllis has written me about what a wonderful friend you are, thank you so much. I know it can be quite lonely by herself."

"She's been a wonderful friend to me as well." Anna said, she turned to Phyllis. "I'll be by tomorrow afternoon."

She left the Baxter home then, going next door. Upon opening the door her mouth dropped open and her knitting bag fell to the floor. "John?"

John had been heating some water at the stove and turned. "Hello Anna."

The barking of a puppy made Anna turn, there was a puppy with a purple ribbon around its neck, she was sitting on a chair and Anna gasped at both surprises. "John, what are you doing home?" she asked, she walked around the table and threw her arms around him, she may be just a business transaction to him but they had become friends over their letters and she was glad to see him.

John wrapped her in his arms. "I wanted to surprise you."

* * *

Anna swallowed nervously as John undid the buttons of her dress. Finally it puddled around her feet and she stepped out of it. As Phyllis had promised her, she'd woken up about a week before, suddenly growing. She hoped he still found her attractive.

John's shirt landed on the floor next. Slowly, they made their way to the bed as clothing fell to the floor. She slipped onto the bed she swallowed again as she watched John carefully look over her body.

"My God, Anna." John's voice was barely over a whisper. He climbed onto the bed next to her, his hand hesitantly landing on the bump where the baby grew. "How...You're so..." he couldn't seem to finish his sentence and she felt a thrill of pride at the fact that she'd rendered him speechless.

"You're so beautiful." John finally finished his sentence. There was a hesitation in his voice though and Anna tried not to panic.

"Are you all right John?"

John bent to kiss where the baby was, "I don't want to hurt the baby." She could see the desire in his eyes and she brushed some hair out of his eyes as he looked up.

"I think as long as we go slow, and it's a little gentler then before, we should be fine."

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As she came down from the high John had sent her on, Anna could feel John was still holding her. Unlike before when he'd rolled away almost as soon as he finished, her husband had pulled her close. His front was pressed up against her back, one of his hands was on the bump and the other stretched out under her head, but was also holding one of her hands. She could feel a light kiss being pressed to the back of her shoulder. "I love you, Anna." The words were so quiet that she nearly didn't hear them, but after they registered she moved his hand so she could kiss his fingers.

She was too overcome with tears to say anything for a moment but she finally whispered "I love you too."

John shifted so he could see her better, "Are you crying?" John asked, she could hear the panic in his voice and she smiled through the tears.

"I'm just so happy that you're safe," She turned so that she was facing her husband. "I've been very worried, John."

They kissed, slowly. "I'm here." John whispered when he pulled back, he kissed her again. "I'm safe." They kissed a third time. "And I love you."

"John?" Anna could feel the desire she had for her husband's touch, but wondered if he would think that speaking of it would be improper.

"Yes?"

"I hope you don't think I'm improper but..." She trialed off, about to lose her courage.

"Yes Anna?" John stroked one of her cheeks with a finger.

"Can we..." She took in a breath. "Can we be intimate again?"

In response, John kissed her again.

* * *

"When do you have to go back?" It was an hour later and they were lying together still, Anna loved the feel of John so close to her.

"I leave tomorrow morning." He kissed her lightly. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too." Anna said.

"How is my mother doing?" John asked.

"Wonderfully," Anna said, "I enjoy seeing her when I go over for dinner, she's said that I can come over any day." She gasped and sat up. "Why don't we go visit her? We can surprise her that you're home for the night."

John sat up, his hair flopping over his eyes. Anna brushed it out of the way as John spoke. "Let's, she usually has dinner at 6, if we left now, we'd have enough time to make sure she could feed us."

Anna smiled brightly and kissed her husband quickly, when she pulled away they turned to get ready.

"Is that a new dress?"

"Yes, I've been growing and Phyllis and I have made a couple of new dresses." Anna said, "I'm afraid we bought too much fabric and have enough for a third dress. Once it's done though, we can sell it to a shop and get some money back."

"You should keep the dress." John said, he motioned to the dress, "Is the dress you're making like that one?"

Anna nodded, "yes."

"You should keep it, you deserve pretty things." The smile on his face made her blush. "All right."

Once they were dressed, He pulled her close to kiss her again. Then he took her hand and they made the short walk to Mama's house.

When Anna entered the house, Mama called from the kitchen, "Anna, is that you?"

"Yes." Anna called, "I've got a surprise for you."

"I'll be in the parlour in a moment." Mama called back, "keep it in there for me."

Anna and John smiled at each other as they sat down. They could hear Mama in the next room and tried not to giggle as they waited.

"What's this surprise Anna?" Mama came into the parlour. Her mouth dropped open as she saw her son sitting there.

"John!"

* * *

Anna reached out for her husband but could only find an empty bed, waking with a start she briefly wondered if she'd imagined the afternoon before. But something clattered in the kitchen and she could hear John cursing.

Slipping a robe on, she stepped around the discarded clothes and made we way to the kitchen. It was several long moments before John noticed her there but he finally turned. "I'll have to leave in an hour, to get to the train station." He said quietly he turned back to the stove, Anna stepped forward and realized there were eggs on the stove. She smiled as she realized that John had been cooking breakfast for her.

"I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed." John smiled. Until the night before she'd never seen his eyes crinkle and she loved it when they did.

"Should I go back to bed?" Anna asked smiling.

"Yes, I want more then just food to fill me up this morning."

Anna giggled, "And you'll get more then just food, my husband."

It took John another ten minutes to bring breakfast into the bedroom. Breakfast was eaten slowly, bites snatched between kisses and caresses.

"I'm afraid if we take it much further then this, I'll be late." John groaned as Anna's hands strayed. He pulled her in for a kiss. She could feel the desire in his tone and skin.

"As much fun as we would have, I don't think your officers would appreciate you being late." Anna said. John shook his head in agreement and kissed her again.

Later, in the middle of a lovely kiss, someone knocked on the door. "Bates! It's time to go."

John groaned, frustrated, he turned towards the door. "Coming!" He gave Anna another kiss before they both got up to finish getting ready to go, John only needed to put on his shoes, but Anna had to dress completely.

"Go ahead, Anna's still getting ready, she wants to accompany me to the train station." John said.

Deciding to forgo her third petticoat, she quickly pulled everything else on and managed to grab the small bag of knitted items she'd made John, another pair of socks and a scarf. They hurried to the train station, only to find that the train was running about 10 minutes behind. Upon hearing that news, John took Anna's hand and guided her to a more secluded section of the train station.

He ignored her quiet question of "where are we going?" Only to gather her in his arms and kiss her once they had some privacy. Anna could feel her knees growing weak as John kissed her thoroughly. She remembered other times he'd kissed her like this, when they'd been intimate. She knew they were in the train station, surely John wouldn't want them to... they were in public, they couldn't!

Blushing, she stepped back, pressing herself against the wall. "What's wrong?" John sounded concerned.

Anna continued to blush at the memories she had of them, as they ran through her mind. "You've only kissed me like that when we've..." She broke off, still blushing.

John smiled again, and stepped forward. "If we were at home, I'd want to..." he lowered his voice and whispered in Anna's ear, "make love to you." Anna could feel her face flushing even more. They did have some privacy in this small corridor, but what if someone walked up and heard them? "I just need one more taste, my sweet."

Anna smiled and they kissed again, this time she gave him the kind of kiss she'd given him when they'd been intimate the night before. John ended this kiss too soon for Anna's liking but when he leaned his forehead against her and whispered. "You're making it very hard for me to leave, my Anna." she felt a quiet thrill.

"If you stay much longer, you'll realize how badly the house smells when I have to use the camber pot so often. Doctor Johnson says it's because of the pregnancy." Anna said, "You'll realize that I still get sick on Tuesday afternoons when the manure cart goes by, and you'll have to put up with Phyllis and I giggling like schoolgirls every day."

The sudden whistle of a train made them both turn. "Bates!" They could hear Timothy Baxter's voice once it quieted down.

"That will be you." Anna said, the two of them walked to the tracks where John's train waited. Surprisingly enough, Mama was there. John and Mama hugged quickly and Mama pressed a package into John's hands.

"I know Anna knits you socks but you go through them quickly."

John pressed a kiss to Mama's cheek and turned to Anna, the whistle blew again and the window closest to them opened, it was Timothy Baxter. John ignored him as he kissed Anna again, it was more chaste then earlier but Anna smiled as John whispered "I love you."

He jumped onto the train just as it started, "I'll write you tonight." He promised as the train started moving away.

"You will probably have a bundle of letters waiting for you." Anna said, "and some more socks."

They were far enough apart now that Anna couldn't hear what John said but she waved and blew a kiss to him.

Several feet away, Vera Ruben glowered at John Bates' simple wife. The child was waving and blowing a kiss to John. She nearly vomited from the disgust she felt. John wasn't a sentimental man at all, how could he stand this woman?

John's mother put an arm around the child and held her close. Vera grimaced as she watched the two of them as they watched the train leave the station. Anna, John's mother and another woman, (Vera recognized her faintly as the next door neighbor) left the station. She followed behind them quietly, she could barely over hear them.

"It was wonderful to see John, but now I wonder how I'm going to fill my days with him gone again." The child was talking.

"You'll knit and sew for my grandchild." John's mother said.

"Oh Mama," Anna stopped, touching John's mother's arm. "John and I discussed names last night, if it's a girl John and I will name the baby after you."

He'd gone and gotten that slut with child? Vera could see what Anna really was, with the way she'd kissed John in the train station, Vera wouldn't be surprised if John's wife was stepping out on him. There was no way to keep that kind of passion under wraps while her husband was off to war. Despicable.

Vera began to think, John had to come back to her, he couldn't stay with either child. He had to come back to her. With John off to war, she had time to figure out something.

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Please review!


	7. Chapter 7

**_Here's chapter 7! I hope you enjoy the chapter._**

_**Recently, I have been getting very stressed out about updating so many fanfictions so quickly. I have 8 fanfictions in the works and have been getting ideas for more. I also have a lot on my plate for school, work etc. Except for this Friday's posting of chapters, I'm going to be taking a break from writing and posting for a while. I won't be posting chapters in any of my stories until it is finished. (or within a few chapters of it's end.) I don't know how long it will take to finish any of my fics, but I will be working on them after taking some time off of writing. I know I've got a lot of readers who love my stories but I need to get my stress level down and I'm hoping that taking some time off of writing and posting will do that. This wasn't an easy desicion to make and I hope that when I start posting again, you will still read and enjoy my fics.**_

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Anna paused in her knitting and absentmindedly patted the dog's head. She really had to come up with a name for her. She was a feisty thing, full of energy and love. A knock on the door made Anna set aside her knitting and get up. Her eyes went wide with surprise. It was Vera.

"Vera? What are you..."

But Anna didn't get the full question out before Vera pushed past her into the house. Anna silently debated about whether she should go get Phyllis, but thought better of it. She could handle this woman.

"I thought I would drop by and say hello. See how you are now that Johnny is away."

Anna gritted her teeth. She hated hearing her call her husband Johnny. She gathered herself and made her way into the kitchen.

"Would you like some tea?" She asked politely.

"That would be lovely." Vera gave her a smile that screamed ulterior motive.

After serving the tea, Anna sat at the table opposite Vera. They exchanged glances as they sipped in silence. S he couldn't help but notice that Vera had taken over John's usual spot at the table.

"You didn't answer my question young Anna."

Anna's hand instinctively settled on her stomach. "I'm sorry. I am doing alright I suppose. I miss John, but Mama Bates and my neighbor keep me company. I go to the library weekly and I go to church. Those and cleaning fill my days up until John is home." She purposely left out anything about the baby and that John had visited recently.

She could see a glint of something flash in Vera's eyes. Jealousy perhaps? She reigned it in too quickly for Anna to properly identify. "That's nice." She settled on with a smile.

"It's a simple life, but I'm happy." Anna said. "How are you?"

"Doing well." Vera kept her answer short, "I would have taken care of Batsey and his house, but he got you to do that."

_Yes, he did_. Anna thought, _and I'm beginning to see why_, but all she said aloud was a simple. "Yes, I do manage the house and money while John is off at war." They sipped tea for a moment.

"When is your baby going to be born?" Vera asked abruptly.

Anna was surprised that Vera knew about the baby but replied. "The baby is due in late winter. How did you find out about the baby?" She took in a deep breath as her stomach rolled. She couldn't tell if it was from nerves or sickness.

"Batesy told me." Vera said, "I get near daily letters from him."

Anna swallowed hard. Vera got near daily letters from John? She knew Vera was likely lying to her, but she couldn't help but wonder if John _was_ writing Vera.

"Is he excited?"

"Very, he's asked if he could name the baby." Anna told a little white lie. John hadn't exactly asked if he could name the baby, but he had requested that if the baby was a girl that they name her after his mother.

They sat for a short time, Vera sipped her tea some more. She pushed her chair back and stood, her tea cup in one hand. Anna stood as well, as Vera made her way to the stove where the teakettle was.

"Why don't I..." She started.

"Oh no, you rest." Vera said, her tone seemed sickly sweet and Anna slowly sat back down. There was silence as Vera prepared herself another cup of tea and then got Anna another cup. When Vera spoke again, Anna grew confused. "Late Winter you say?" Anna nodded, but was unable to speak as Vera spoke to quickly. "That's cutting it a little close, don't you think?"

"What do you mean?" Anna was confused.

"I just mean that if the rumors are true, that you were pregnant before you married John. It made for a swift cover up, but the timing might be a little off."

Anna shook her head, flabbergasted. "That's not true, John's..." she stopped, speaking of marital intimacies with Mama Bates or Phyllis was quite different than talking of it with Vera. Anna was not going to tell her about John in that way.

"Now of course I don't think that, but I felt you should know that's what's brewing in the rumor mill right now."

Anna could feel tears fill her eyes and she looked down, blinking hard. She would not give Vera the satisfaction of knowing this was getting to her.

"I don't believe it," Vera was clearly trying to sound comforting. It didn't work however and Anna wanted nothing more than to leave Vera but this was her house, she wasn't going to leave and give Vera run of the place. Taking in a breath, she blinked back tears and then looked up at the woman. Anna could hear the dog growling in the parlour but she didn't enter the kitchen.

"I don't hold with gossip." she said, her voice sounding stronger than she felt. "If all you're going to do is tell me what others are saying, then you may as well leave."

Vera seemed a bit surprised at Anna's words. "I was just..."

"I don't care what anyone else is saying." Anna said gripping the chair beneath her, "I only care what John, Mama Bates, my mother and Phyllis say and they know the truth. This baby is John's. I love him and he loves me and the baby. That's all that matters. If you're going to tell me local gossip, then you may as well leave."

Vera stood, Anna could tell she was angry, but even she was surprised when Vera leaned over the table and hissed; "I hope you lose it." Then she turned and left the house, slamming the door behind her. Anna finally let tears flow and she pushed her chair back and went into the bedroom. She curled up on John's side of the bed and cried.

She couldn't tell how long it was, but she heard somebody knocking. The dog was going nuts, barking at whoever was at the door. "Anna?" Anna only got off the bed when she heard Phyllis' voice. Her neighbor sounded worried. Anna wiped her tears and went to the door, she knew she looked horrible but it was just Phyllis.

"What happened?" Phyllis invited herself in, Anna went to the parlour where the dog was now laying by the fireplace. "I noticed that Vera left but you didn't come over right away, but I couldn't leave the stove." Phyllis still sounded worried.

"Vera came over, she was talking about some gossip that includes me." Anna said, "She says that there's a rumor that I got with child before John and I married and our marriage is a cover up." She took in a breath. "I don't care about that, I know this baby is John's but," her breath hitched as she remembered Vera's last words. "She said, that she hopes I lose this baby." Anna began to cry again and Phyllis gathered Anna in her arms.

"Don't listen to her, she's a vile woman." Phyllis said, "The only time the women on this block have talked about you is when you didn't show up for the Presbyterian church services, they've never said anything about the baby. I doubt many of them know, you've never talked of the baby in front of them." Anna tried to stop crying, but several tears still fell.

There was a knock at the door, Phyllis sighed heavily, "if that's Vera..." she muttered as she got up to answer the door. "Mrs. Barrow." Phyllis said, Anna turned as her other neighbor spoke.

"I was at the post office and saw that Mrs. Bates had a letter, I know her husband's at the front, thought she'd want it."

"Thank you," Phyllis said, Anna stood and quickly walked into the kitchen where she took the letter from Phyllis, smiling a quick thank you at her neighbor.

She opened the letter and glanced at the date, it was dated two days before.

_My sweet;_

_Had I had known that my ship would be delayed, I would have left this morning to come to port. More time in your arms would have made this cold, single bunk, and the front more bearable. I know it has only been a short time since I left you, but my thoughts are only of you. Are you still feeling well? How have you been filling your days? What new things have you made for the house?_

_My thoughts never stray far from you, or the baby. I wish I could be there every day to see you grow with the evidence of the passion we shared before I left for the war._

Anna smiled and continued to read her husband's letter, it was almost as if he'd known she would need a letter from him. Perhaps he truly did love her.

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_Please review!_


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